Choose Wisely, Choose Love: A Reflection for Epiphany

 “Choice is your greatest power. It is an even greater power than love, because you must first choose to be a loving person.” Caroline Myss

At New Year, we may be thinking about our choices. We do not know what this year will bring us, but we do know that we will have choices as to how we respond. We can choose to be a loving person. We can choose to see the best in others.

After the Chorlton Unitarians carol service in December, when we were enjoying mulled wine and mince pies, one of the attendees told me his own 'three wise men' story – many years ago, he was cycling home late at night after a party, when he was very drunk. On his way through a rough part of Manchester he saw three young men approaching and, from their appearance, worried that he was about to be mugged. He became so frightened, that he fell off his bike. As he hit the ground, the men ran up to him, and he feared the worst. But they picked him up, dusted him down, reunited him with his bicycle and wished him well as he rode away, by now feeling rather ashamed of his assumptions. Never judge a book by its cover, he concluded. “That's going in my sermon!” I told him.

Similarly, in Home by Another Way - Barbara Brown-Taylor's adaptation of the story of the wise men from the Gospel of Matthew, the magi had their expectations confounded. They thought they were seeking a king, not expecting to find a small and simple family in a small and simple house. They brought expensive gifts and received simple gifts, which shifted their perspective, and allowed them to see how they might make different choices and have different priorities. May we be open to having our expectations confounded and being changed by experiencing the unexpected. 

“For the scent and weight and skin of a baby,” said the first wise man, who had no interest in living on herbs anymore.” May we delight in the sensual pleasures of our embodied existence, using all our senses to savour our lives.

“For this home and the love here,” said the second wise man, who could not remember how to say it in the ancient language.” May we be grateful for hospitality, for love and affection, for all the spaces in which we feel at home.

“For a really great story,” said the third wise man, who thought that telling it might do a lot more for him than walking on hot coals.” May we share with others the experiences that touch our hearts and change us, and may we listen well to the stories that others tell us.

In Wise Women Also Came by Jan Richardson, we hear the story that wasn't told in the Gospel of Matthew, the story of the wise women, the midwives, who, she imagined, helped Mary in her labour, and brought useful gifts for her and her baby – water for washing, fire for light and warmth, and a blanket to wrap him in. May we too listen for the stories behind the stories, the unseen and unheard, the unsung heroines whose gifts go uncelebrated, but are absolutely what is needed in the moment. May we look for the magic in the ordinary. 

A mother birthing and nursing her child is the oldest and most ordinary story in the world, but it is also the most magical. Every new life is a miracle. Every family is a holy family.  And love is our birthright. Every one of us deserves love, for we are all children of God. 

Sometimes love too comes in unexpected ways. “Wise One, drop the reins and let the camel guide you. Follow the rising falling animal in your chest. To be wise, after all, is to be led..” wrote Fred Lamotte, in his poem Magi. Over Christmas I watched a documentary film about Gordon Buchanan, the wildlife cameraman, crossing the Gobi desert with two camels. He had to let the camels guide him, as they were the ones who knew how to survive and thrive in the desert. At first, he was quite scared of the camels and the camels were suspicious of him, but over time, they developed a relationship of mutual trust and affection. May we be willing to take a chance with those who take us outside our comfort zone.

Over the Christmas period I have been taking the opportunity to go outside my comfort zone and visit different churches local to where I live to experience their services. On Christmas Eve, I went to the local Roman Catholic church for their evening mass. Mass was preceded by half an hour of carol singing, which I loved, but when the mass began, I found myself inwardly squirming at the frequent mentions of sin. But then I started to notice the warmth of fellowship in this church full of people singing and smiling, especially during the 'sign of peace', when people shake hands with their neighbours in the pews and say, 'may peace be with you.' I began to relax into the beauty and simplicity of the liturgy, and not let my theological differences with it bother me. I left feeling blessed by the spirit of Christmas. 

We can always choose to see things differently. At a recent online Unitarian Christian Association gathering I attended, someone said, “When I don't agree with something, I try to see windows rather than walls.” What a wonderful motto.

May we keep choosing to be led by love, choosing to be open to change, choosing windows over walls. Amen and Blessed Be.