What do we mean by well-being? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “A state of being well, healthy, contented, etc.”
The University of Manchester website expands on this:
“The concept of wellbeing comprises two main elements: feeling good and functioning well. Feelings of happiness, contentment, enjoyment, curiosity and engagement are characteristic of someone who has a positive experience of their life. Equally important for wellbeing is our functioning in the world. Experiencing positive relationships, having some control over one’s life and having a sense of purpose are all important attributes of wellbeing. When considering these elements, the New Economics Foundation created The Five Ways to Wellbeing in 2008 - as a set of evidence-based actions that promote wellbeing in everyday life.
These are: Connect, Be Active, Take Notice, Learn and Develop, and Give.”
A guided meditation on ways to well-being by Laura Dobson
Breathing in, I connect.
Breathing out, I am aware of my connections.
Breathing in, I am aware of my connections with family and friends, with ancestors, with the people in this room, with all people in all times and places.
Breathing out, I am aware of my connections with the myriad creatures who inhabit my body and keep it functioning.
Breathing in, I am aware of my connections with the plants and animals that provide me with food, with companionship, with beauty and joy.
Breathing out, I am aware of my connections with the earth, the tides of the moon, the light and warmth of the sun.
Breathing in, I am aware of my connection to my higher self.
Breathing out, I am aware of my connection to that which I experience as sacred or divine.
Breathing in, I am active.
Breathing out, I am aware of my activity.
Breathing in, I am aware of the activity of my body digesting its food.
Breathing out, I am aware of the actions of my heart pumping blood to all parts of my body, supplying my cells with oxygen.
Breathing in, I am aware of the activity of the synapses of my brain, creating thoughts.
Breathing out, I am aware of the actions of my lungs, breathing.
Breathing in, I take notice.
Breathing out, I am aware of my noticing.
Breathing in, I am aware of the sensations of my body touching the chair and my feet touching the floor.
Breathing out, I am aware of the temperature in the room, how the air feels.
Breathing in, I am aware of how the energy feels in this space.
Breathing out, I am aware of my own presence in this company.
Breathing in, I learn.
Breathing out, I am aware of my learning.
Breathing in, I am aware that even in this very moment, I am learning something new about myself.
Breathing out, I am aware that in every interaction I learn something new about others.
Breathing in, I am aware I am always learning about Life.
Breathing out, I am aware I am always learning about the Source of Life.
Breathing in, I give.
Breathing out, I am aware of my giving.
Breathing in, I am aware of the time and energy I give to myself.
Breathing out, I am aware of the time and energy I give to others.
Breathing in, I am aware of the care and attention I give to myself.
Breathing out, I am aware of the care and attention I give to others.
Breathing in, I am aware of the love I give to myself.
Breathing out, I am aware of the love I give to others.
We have considered briefly ways to well-being – actions that we can take that may support our well-being, but what lies deeper? What might be at the centre of our well-being? I'd like to share with you what I have learned about what lies at the centre of my own well-being. While yours may look different, I hope that some of what I say will resonate with you.
“When I open my eyes to the outer world, I feel myself as a drop in the sea. But when I close my eyes and look within, I see the whole universe as a bubble raised in the ocean of my heart.” Hazrat Inayat Khan, teacher of Universal Sufism, 1882 – 1927
Hildegard von Bingen expressed this when she said, “Humanity, take a good look at yourself. Inside, you’ve got heaven and earth, and all of creation. You’re a world—everything is hidden in you.”
These quotes illustrate some of what I feel is at the centre of my well-being, my awareness of the interconnection of all things, being at peace with my place in the universe. They also hint at the depth of inner resources available for us to draw on. A sense of belonging is important. Not just in the wider sense of belonging to human society or the world, but particular belonging, such as the Unitarian church, and other friendship networks and community groups. Well-being is all about having healthy relationships. Living a life of meaning and purpose is important, finding what you love and keeping on doing it. I’m lucky enough to have found my calling here with the Unitarian Church. Gratitude is important – taking time on a daily basis to appreciate life. And last but not least, there is a sense of equilibrium, of life being in balance.
There are two concepts from the work of Hildegard von Bingen that I have found helpful in considering well-being: ‘viriditas’ or greening and ‘discretio’ or discernment.
Viriditas can be roughly translated as greening. Hildegard used it to refer the life-force, vigour or vitality of both plants and people. In terms of well-being, it can be thought of as what allows us to flourish and thrive.
Discretio is sometimes translated as moderation, but has greater depth of meaning. It also means discretion, discrimination, discernment, difference and distinction.
When we put these two concepts together in the context of wellbeing we can use discernment as a guiding in relation to our life-force. Hildegard’s view of life included the belief that God created balance in the body and order in the cosmos. Discretio is the practice of living that balance or order in the union of human and divine, finding harmony of body, mind and soul. It involves paying attention to our inner compass, the promptings of our bodies and our deep selves, to find the right measure in all things.
We can use discretio to find the right measure for ourselves in all aspects of life – the balance between work and leisure, between activity or exercise and rest, between sleep and wakefulness, a balanced diet, living with awareness of our environment and seasonal changes. Discretio is it seems to me a lost art in the public life of politics. We are constantly bombarded with so much information, so many stimuli. Have we found the right measure in our consumption of media?
We can also apply discretio to our relationships – are they reciprocal? Is there a balance between the care we give out and what we receive? Discretio involves taking responsibility for our actions and choices. We can use it to examine our habits, social conditioning and unconscious thought-patterns, and make the changes we need to flourish and thrive.
Balance involves an ongoing process of interconnection. The physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual dimensions of our lives are interwoven. Jesus knew this. It is significant that in the Gospel of Mark Jesus first offers the paralysed man spiritual healing, before he heals him physically. When balance is disturbed we experience disease – dis-ease. Even a minor illness such as the common cold affects all these dimensions. We may think of it as a mere physical illness, but as well as feeling physically ill, it affects our emotional mood, how well we function intellectually, and our sense of interconnection and wholeness.
Sometimes we are knocked off balance by a big unexpected event – the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a serious illness – and all we can do is hang on, wait for the storm to pass and hope that eventually 'all shall be well.' Few people can maintain equilibrium all the time. There will be times when we are just about getting by, but by looking after our well-being on a regular basis we can build resilience for the times when may struggle. And we can learn much about our well-being from the dark times. When equilibrium has been restored we can look back and see what knocked us off course, and perhaps consider how we could have been with the situation in a different way.
It is also helpful to be able to recognise our triggers, the things that are likely to upset us, however small. One of mine is uncertainty. Things being ‘up in the air’ upsets me.
An example of a small incident of uncertainty that disturbed my equilibrium recently – I will be beginning my training for the Unitarian Ministry with Unitarian College in September. As well as my work with the church, I currently work three days per week at a university. In order to make space in my life for the training, I made a request to my line management at the university to reduce my hours there to two days per week. I spoke to all the people concerned directly and they all agreed that it would be fine. I submitted a written request to my line manager and waited to hear back from Human Resources. Silence.
Two weeks later I asked my manager what was happening with my request. Apparently it had been escalated to his line manager, who was not happy about it. This threw me into a panic! I had been led to believe that the request had been approved and now I was being told that it had not been approved at all. I became very anxious. What would happen if my request was refused? I would have to look for another job. What if I couldn't find another job in time? How would I pay my rent and my bills? I started to lose sleep and I picked up a cold. Stress hormones lower our immunity and leave us susceptible to infections. The cold was the nudge I needed to alert me up to the downward spiral I had created by allowing my anxiety to escalate.
I asked myself, what Hildegard might teach me in this situation? What were the lessons of viriditas (greening) and discretio (discernment)? What was getting in the way of me flourishing? How could I discern the truth of the matter? How could I be more at ease with the situation?
My anxiety was the block to my well-being. So what was at the root of my anxiety? My high level of anxiety was linked to my feelings that things had been taken out of my control and that I was insignificant. Someone who had never met me was making decisions about my life, based on numbers. I felt aggrieved and indignant, which of course aggravated the anxiety I felt about the uncertain outcome. I had become carried away with worrying, conjuring up so many 'what if' scenarios, which of course never materialised.
I couldn't influence the outcome, but I could change my attitude towards it. I could let go of my attachment to a particular outcome. I could have more faith, more trust, in the universe, in God, in my own inner resources. Even if the outcome was not the one I would have preferred, it would not be the end of the world. It might even be a blessing in disguise. All shall be well.
Once I had let go of fretting about the future, I was able to come back to focusing on the present, on actions that support my well-being. I sang in the shower. I attended a yoga nidra session. I invited a friend out for coffee. I took a candlelit bath with relaxing essential oils. I checked in with my online ministry student support group. I went for a long walk in the woods. My sleep improved along with my mood.
Unsurprisingly, the reluctance to approve my request was down to money worries that the budget would be reduced as a result of downsizing my role. Eventually, after several more weeks of discussion between various levels of management, my request was approved on a trial basis. Having reconciled myself to accepting whatever outcome I was given, I will admit to feeling a sense of relief when I received the letter!
I invite you over the next week to consider your well-being with a discerning eye. What are the elements that make up your well-being? Which relationships contribute to your well-being? What may be blocking your well-being? What is getting in the way of your 'viriditas', your greening, your flourishing? What supports your flourishing? Have you found the right measure of things?
I'll leave the last word to the mystic whose words reach out through the ages to support my well-being, Hildegard von Bingen,
“I am the one whose praise echoes on high.
I adorn all the earth.
I am the breeze that nurtures all things green.
I encourage blossoms to flourish with ripening fruits.
I am led by the spirit to feed the purest streams.
I am the rain coming from the dew
That causes the grasses to laugh with the joy of life.
I call forth tears, the aroma of holy work.
I am the yearning for good.”
